The know-it-all manager is the one who never misses an opportunity with a sarcastic tone to point out his “skill” and, in a subtle, subtle and imperceptible way, wants to teach you the lesson!
As we have seen, in many other cases – for those who have read my reflections – a know-it-all manager is certainly also a good talent but lacking a noble value such as humility and the ability to be empathetic.
In the years of experience I have gained, I have noticed that very often talented managers who consciously use a “first / first class” communication, are unknowingly ineffective and unpleasant. Unfortunately, being skilled and a champion may not coincide with having the capacity for emotional intelligence.
What is meant by emotional intelligence? In summary, it means having the ability to “put yourself in the other person’s shoes” and understand his emotions at a profound level: what he feels in that moment.
It is known that many ego-related managers and narcissistic talents are often lacking in the emotional intelligence that is learned in the family and is not (alas!) Taught at any renowned university or while attending the MBA!
Training on emotional intelligence has been very popular lately and the web is full of tests and self-diagnosis. In fact, fashion is given by the awareness that the ability to listen and understand each other in an authentic and genuine way allows for more effective professional relationships, a relaxed business climate with fewer conflicts and, last but not least, allows you to increase your Business Performance.
Recently I happened to listen to a conversation managed with calm tones, a refined, impeccable and very well articulated language that hid accusations, judgments and showed an immense Ego. Whoever spoke is a manager of impeccable talent who is absolutely unattractive to his colleagues, bosses, resources. While listening to this conversation, I had the intuition of how the pedantic and at the same time unknowingly false tone puts the talent in a position of weakness with many of its interlocutors who, at a totally level even on their unconscious part, perceive the real contempt and some form of devaluation.
If communication is not authentic and genuine, it produces a Tsunami effect.
In this specific case, this Manager is in constant conflict with their bosses and, after listening to this episode, I am strongly convinced of the Manager’s non-awareness of his NON-verbal and of the boomerang that generates his ineffective communication.
What to do in these cases?
Certainly having a professional and expert coach who gives ad hoc feedback on communication and non-verbal languages of the body, is a first solution.
It is possible to hypothesize the “coaching on the Job”, that is to observe live the Manager how he interacts with colleagues, bosses and resources and verify in which cases the know-it-all approach prevails and in which cases the approach is different and give immediate feedback to adopt corrective measures “in the here and now”.
A third solution is to ask your colleagues and friends what they think of your approach and how they “experience” your communication. It takes “courage” but it is opportune to ask oneself and ask others how one is perceived.
Just to mention a few percentages, the message you want to convey effectively reaches the interlocutor through 95% through NON-verbal communication and through 5% through the actual content you want to transfer.
With this awareness it is useful to pay extreme attention to one’s NON-verbal communication. In the specific case, the perpetuated pedantic tone – at a level completely out of personal awareness – makes the Manager perceive ineffective, abusive and provocative of conflicts. Managers that companies would like to do without but they are talented and do everything to keep them from slipping into contradiction. As the demand for Coaching has grown, healthy and far- sighted companies know very well that they can turn to professional consultants who can stem and contain the exuberance and arrogance of those managers who do not see such traits to manage.
I suggest that Managers, more or less aware of possessing these traits, leave room for humility and genuine listening to others. Companies to invest to shake managers from too much arrogance to the advantage of a relaxed atmosphere, production teams, successful business performance.